Tuesday, December 04, 2007

3 scuffs!

I think...ther r probably even mor, ha!

I have to tell you this b4 it gets old...

na-wow for me-o! I am learning an incredibly lot incredibly fast about driving in Nigeria & the what-to-dos & the what-not-to-dos...--real fast!--but maybe not fast enough... read on & c wat I mean!

(not necessarily in chronological order)

scuff 1)

Now as it would be...the embarassing moments only happen when I'm with someone else in the car. The few times that I go out alone, the things a synch (probably cause I'm going somewhere close, or cuz I'm less nervous... go figure).

I was going with Art to do some banking & as we pull in to park, Art goes:

"Oh yes! The parking's real tight here--perfect for u 2 practice!"

"Oh, great!", I thought. I prayed, "Lord send Vigilance to help me not do anything ridiculous" (like get bumped into by a parked car...). So as I was extra-carefully driving into the bank, I had to go around the back to park, (which was basically down an alley way on the side of the little bank, with cars parked on the left & a little squeeze on the right). Made it fine. The available space was in front of the bank's gen.

In Nigeria the security guards most often help you park. So as I'm parking the guard's on my left, in front of me, & motions like "come, come"...& he just kept repeating the motion.

Just as I was wondering if his arm was on "stuck mode", or if the "CD" of his brain was on skip, I simultaneously said to Art, "I never know whether to listen to these guys..." as I tonked straight into the generator. (???!???)
Art had a good little chuckle. Thankfully, he didn't like, point & laugh at me, but I know he was wondering at that moment, if I should even be legally on the road (or parking, n-e-way), or was seriously doubting the clarity of my vision (or prescence thereof).

"Very interesting park job", he said kinda quietly!

I made up some excuse & quickly blamed the security guard, while promising in my mind(& I think out loud) never to listen to those guys for real again....

..Just as well...check out this next bit...


scuff 2)


The same day, about 4 hours later, I was pulling out of another park spot at a mall in Central area...(this story's mainly a lesson in Nigerian English, actually)..

The security guard was doing the motioning thing again....(go figure)
I reminded Art of my "generator-confirmed" decision not to listen to these guys in earnest, as I'm sloooooooooooowly backing up.

I really didn't have the greatest of views, but I knew that I was getting really close..

Next, the guy starts clamly repeating "you're ok"... "you're ok"... "you're ok".. like this...

Now what do any of you think this means? Exactly as I thought! I kept going, as I was "ok".

Next thing he shouts "YOU'RE OK!" & he slaps on the car real hard! Art joins the security guard in the now key-phrase "you're ok", as I now realize that "you're ok", means, "you've gone far enough"--AS IN, STOP!

wow...who would have guessed... I mean, I know I'm dense, but...

so that lesson's down pat.. & the actual miracle in this, is that if I had not earlier that very day, tonked into that gen because of that guard at the bank, I would have carelessly trusted my understanding of "you're ok" at the mall & either smashed a light on, or scratched the little, but new, yellow, Peugeot 406 parked behind me. (little chick car...who knows, might have got me introduced to a lovely Nigerian lady...)

Ha! God got me out of that one in a funny way.....And Art had more to laugh at!

"I'm ok!" (btw)

third scuff later...

3 comments:

whacky said...

lol! You should hear my car stories! I might give your sister a respirator as a C'mas present. I think she has regular heart attacks driving with me. I'll post my horror stories on my blog sometime.

Love you, Brian! Next time I see you we can drive together. heehee!

Unknown said...

Sounds good! We have to...

We'll have some adventures driving up those mountains/glaciers together...

;)

Anonymous said...

hahahaha! now that was fun! i'll keep all the tips in mind in case i ever go to Nigeria :P give a hug to Art for me :)